 When was the last time you actually walked away from all of it? The noise. Blinking cursors, beeping notifications, I mean... really didn’t have that cell phone on your person or in reach? Or that Apple Watch? Yeah...that too. Insert a minute of silence here. Go ahead, I dare ya! Ah! Slow exhale. If you actually did it, you would feel a different awareness. Let me address some Selfcare confusion because we all need attunement and reminders. We can all feel wiped out a little too often. Like our clarity is foggy and slowed down. When that happens, remember the IT tagline... "Have you tried turning it on and off again?" We all know this is the trick when tech has gremlins, freezes or goes kaput. Yet we forget this trick is what our own nervous system needs daily! (Like when you feel a little zoom fragmented.)  Rebalance. Restore. Reset. Do you have a daily practice of truly unplugging? (Truly?) When I reference self-care it’s more than 10, 000 steps a day, a pedicure or a clean shave. It’s not just presenting well or only about the physical body; sure exercise is essential but quality sleep, playfulness and active rest is also as essential as vita d and b12. We don’t credit play and rest as adults. And it’s a fatal mistake to our well-being. Pleasure, joy, beauty, downtime... these are all essential ingredients to holistic wellness. Are you getting enough of any of these things? What about joyful movement? What area of your life do you most neglect? We get stuck in ruts. Open your eyes to see things differently, reawaken. Travel used to do this for us(and is starting to again). This is essentially why we LOVE to travel. It awakens our senses our aliveness. We feel braver, more sensual and more vitality. Both Relaxed and excited. (Which is a flow state). Our thinking becomes clearer we are roomier and more optimistic in our outlook. We return more appreciative for our amazing life and opportunities and home. The lightness of Appreciation always dissolves darkness. Appreciation = gratitude. These energies when really FELT not just thought, deeply shift us. It’s allowing yourself to be moved by gratitude for your own life. Your loved ones. Your morning latte. The night sky. The evening chorus of frogs. Travel is a circuit breaker in our stale thinking and dulled routine. We simultaneously unplug waning energy and plug back in fully charged. The next best thing is our imagination. Open your channels of creativity or find someone that stimulates you into new possibilities. Go to a gallery. A science exhibit. An archeological dig. Do a science experiment. Research a secret passion you never have time for. Take yourself on a trip to your own inner secret world. Have a conversation with someone you have nothing in common with and stay open and curious about them. So much is happening all the time, we often don’t get enough space and quiet for integration and exploration of our inner truth. Yet, space and quiet are essential for self-care. How do you make space for it? How do you broaden your self-regard, trust and compassion? Set boundaries? Allow some silence into your day? Don’t agonize, simply organize yourself. How gentle are you with your mistakes and disappointments? Could you be kinder to yourself? What’s the belief that prevents this? Ambitious drive does not have to equal relentless and unforgiving. Self-care and compassion will lead you to greater success however you define that. And make sure to Define it through your own lens. Divine living is in the design. Get intentional with your life, how you live your days is how your life unfolds. It matters. How we do one thing is how we do everything. So master daily self-care and watch your inner garden blossom. Water the seeds and dreams you want to cultivate. Take inspired action on your wellness. This means not just external goals, it must include: - learning to unplug, especially when you are stuck or sluggish or stressed out. (And, getting good at it will avoid those undesirable states.) Learn to do nothing well at least 15 mins a day guilt-free. Reboot the mission. (When Your computer forces its shutdowns to reboot and update, instead of the ?#@*&%! diatribe, —try to take notice and do the same reboot!) Breathe deeply and quell your stress with slow exhalations and a few closed eye body scans, Drink water; take each sip mindfully and remember you are nourishing and cleansing the inner ecosystem and mirroring in your body what you want to do with the mind. What about a Creative reboot? Simply try something new. Look, we all need reminders, we can all fall off the track of great self-care. Focus on the long game. Remember it’s progress over perfection. Please be kind to yourself. This is the greatest gain you will ever make in your quality of life and relationships allowing greater peace and wellness In your body. Your Compassion will always be incomplete if it doesn’t include yourself. Start with unplugging. Simply turn it on and off again. Shut yours eyes. Exhale. Ah! See how amazing that feels?! Now put your feet up for a minute...  With encouragement,  Pandemic has been challenging for Couples. If you wish to know more about the Online Couples Course click here or feel free to ask me:
Couples TuneUp - NORMA HOEPPNER (soulbrush.ca)
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 Hi there. Although I haven't posted a blog for a while, I wanted to wrap up 2021 with a brief reflection surfing the year-end vibes, to encourage a pause in your day; to integrate, to rest, to consider. We generally go at such a breakneck speed, this time of year is excellent to learn from our animal teachers, the bear for one, for much needed hibernation medicine. Slowing down. If you allow it. Give yourself the gift of permission to simply restore thyself this winter passage through solstice and beyond. December Musings I have felt a heaviness all around. Beyond the darkness lies an uncertainty and longing. There is both my own and those I observe in my work. Restless limbs reach for comfort in too much emptiness, Hearts echo hollow with the freedom they dream of ... ‘Yet- "it’s okay", the moon whispers to us through a luminous tune - shimmering bright on an otherwise dark long night. It’s really okay, isn't it? In spiritual practices, it is wise intention setting to create a vibration of All is well. All is well. No matter what dramas and suffering unfold before you, there can be gratitude in the simple act of deep breaths. A reset of your physiology in mere moments. A resourcing of your generous, beating, beautiful heart. All is well. All is well most times. Despite it all.  Presence yourself in the moment. Rooting into your bare feet on the creaking floor. Ground yourself. Even by the deathbed, holding a fading hand. Even by the crib, comforting a distressed infant. It’s all too much and yet, it’s still okay. Isn’t it? All is well. The chant of mantras wishing into the abundant future of unknowns, scattered like dandelion wisps to take seed. The future, now filled with uncertainties of pandemic designed new realities. There is no normal anymore. Yet all is well. Surely, we have enough, with our feasts and our friendships. How lucky we are. To experience this amazing adventure, to be the ones designing history through this auspicious time of rapid change. We have our radiant hearts Our beleaguered hopes Our phantoms to dance with Our anger to light on fire for warmth It’s enough, isn’t it? All is well. Let your sorrows be. They tap you on your shoulder for a reason; Fill your eyes to overflowing because they have no manners, no sense of teatime etiquette-sorrows certainly do not tell the time. Just as the newborn in distress looks for love and comfort, so do we all. We all have within us, the ability to self soothe, to love large, forgive generously and comfort ourselves. We, our deepest, most Loyal and long-standing friend we will ever know. (When we give ourselves permission to love.) Cherish yourself as a precious offering this season. Even through your doubt. Your grumblings. No need for perfection, take off the mask. You are beautiful and loved there, where your truth shows it’s vulnerability. All is well. Here we are together; Gathering our tears, and sorrows, grudges and hurts like a broken string of black pearls for the jeweler, We wear them so well. Yet all is well. And always has been. Where do you hide your joys? Rather string them like popcorn for the tree and light them up! With My in-breath, I am both grateful and thrilled for this deeply flawed and wonderful life. My out-breath relieves me of pressures and stress and allows me to let go, to simply be. To soften. With a fully surrendered exhale. Yes it’s okay. All is well. Perhaps there remains a heaviness all around. Like stodgy Christmas pudding a strange bitter taste lingers from 2021. But yes, it’s okay. All is well. We will begin again. And we will make it good. We will release the unsung sorrows, the tense unspoken words and let our soft mammal body unfurl in its longing. Release. Deep deep sleep calls from the long winter night. We are tired in our bones. Can you feel it? Yet all is well. Wishing you so much joy and wonder,   “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times....” (-Charles Dickens) This timeless truth was written in 1859 and could be just as true today. Or, any period in human history. (Outrunning sabre tooth tigers anyone?....) Life is rarely a cakewalk. But it can be so much more than the self-defeating limits in which we unwittingly cage ourselves. How do you negotiate Self-doubt vs self-trust? Instead of, ‘I can’t' or 'it won’t work’.... How often do you ask yourself, ‘WHAT IS POSSIBLE?’ What about, Magic. Joy. Light. What do these words bring to mind for you? What feelings arise? How do they dance on your tongue? Does your ear welcome them? Breathe them in. What images come to your imagination? We need these aspects to settle our frayed nervous systems. Light and Dark will always be hand in hand. What you allow to be stronger within you will depend on a whole lot of forces, including your context, the toxicity vs the safety of your environment, your choices or lack thereof, even what you had for breakfast! You choose whether to entrain with bitterness from being hurt or whether you commit to healing. And learning. And growing. It’s a choice whether your heart opens or closes. “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of light, it was the season of darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair.” ― Charles Dickens, (1859) A Tale of Two Cities These days, if you think that to be happy and content and have a good life, it should be easy and sunny, then you are going to be challenged, especially moving into fall, more darkness and the 4th wave of the pandemic. This is one of the things I’m feeling really heavily in my bones right now. I don’t know about you but, I need to change my mindset. When I catch these negative thought loops and heavy discouraged feelings, they need attention and self-care. Since the nights are getting longer, what if the light we need now is a starlight twinkle, rather than a bright sun? When I was out kayaking this summer, I was enthralled with bioluminescent phytoplankton on a midnight paddle. Have you ever experienced it? The magical neon blue light flashes against the night ocean as your kayak paddle dips into the inky darkness, carving your glowing signature in its wake. Your own magical presence dancing with the sea’s hidden mysteries. This is joy. This is magic. This is light.  (‘Bioluminescence is the production and emission of light by a living organism. It is a form of chemiluminescence. Bioluminescence occurs widely in marine vertebrates and invertebrates, ‘...Wikipedia) This is the miraculous in the everyday. The mundane turned on its head. Yes, some nights the stars are obscured (and it’s discouraging). Even a luminous full moon can be hidden by dark stormy clouds, and those days we have to go inward and incubate. You have to really explore and discover who you are and what you are going to choose, despite the pain, the reckoning, the proverbial dark night of the soul. These times require you must recharge your own light with self-compassion. And through these deep challenges, you become resilient and better able to ground yourself and to feel joy and contentment in your being and in your life despite what is happening around you. Despite losing cherished love ones. Despite negative coworkers and parking tickets. Despite the weight of the world. Despite it all. That is when you find that joy is actually sweeter, brighter, lighter, more magical, because of the darkness. Not in spite of the darkness. The reason light works in a photo is because of the shadows, the dark contrast, the dimensionality, not just the beautiful light. We praise the light and ignore the shadow, but both are required. Don’t hide from what scares you, don’t shun what’s dark and spiteful and lurking within you, it just wants attention. It wants to be noted, it needs to be recognized as the messenger it is for you. Envy, Anger, Fear. The messenger that taps you on the shoulder so you turn and look toward the light. What if your shadow is also scared of the dark and needs your help? So where ever you are on your journey, whether magic seems like a distant concept, or joy isn’t something you’ve connected to for a while; Consider how different it would feel through the darkness to just shine your own starlight. If that's too much of a stretch right now and you’re not there yet, then carry a flashlight, and let it guide you until you have enough energy in your own battery to begin lighting your path again. Check-in with your own compass. Then track your north star. This is how you strengthen your voice. For me, Magic has weaved it’s way through a sorrowful summer. Even with personal grief and loss as an accompanying shadow, light is present and joy visits daily. A midnight paddle, dancing outdoors under the full moon. Abracadabra, literally means, “ it will be created in my words’’--so go cast your spell, and speak your truth. This is how you strengthen your voice. Create your own magic, it is within you to do so. You are stardust. Literally. *   Are you a good listener? If I was super honest with you, really, really honest, I'm afraid I would have to admit, (embarrassed as I am by this) that I have become a rather poor listener. Oftentimes, impatient with the world and others, straining to get words in edgewise, planning what to say—distracted by bings, phone beeps, hums, boiling kettle whistles, agendas, time frames, traffic, radio news, the sounds of rushing.... It's not easy to do anymore, it seems. The true art of really listening. How did we get here? Now don't fret, I don't mean to be including you with the 'we', not specifically anyway, as perhaps you are a rare exquisite listener. And I commend you if you are. It is both a gift and a choice. There is of course, the sheer miraculousness of hearing to begin with, the miracle of our ears, odd as they appear, and rarely shed attention. WE don't tend to identify them as our best feature and yet...perhaps, they just might be. We likely appreciate our ears, or at least our hearing, when we are speaking with a deaf person whose words are marbled, muffled, fading at the edges like an impressionist painting of words in dim light, blurring into the next one. Or when we have a screaming ear infection—the pain, the amplified beating of our heart through our own ear drum-red with rage- A deep breath of automatic gratitude will catch us off guard when we are reminded how easy it is to hear, when one is gifted this sense in good health.  Hearing sounds is one thing. Listening is another. An Art. No Question. Imagine joyful sounds. Top ten. What are yours? Mine would have to include the timeless calming effect of a cat's purr, as well as:
DEEP SILENCE.  Listening is an art. Literal comprehension is not always required, as any traveller in a foreign land knows; hand gestures, international signs, human facial expressions—the things we listen for instinctively. Listening implies being non-judgmental. Non defensive. This—when the stakes are high and the wounds deep—is one of our biggest challenges. We often turn away in protection; versions of self preservation are well rationalized. Albeit the result is alienating, sometimes punishing—the cool shadow of withdrawal. NO one benefits when we stop listening. Disconnection is the result. Especially from ourselves and our deeper heart. Why do we fear listening, what is it we think we will hear? Perhaps the unbearable truth. I WONDER....What would it be like if this noisy world was silenced for a day. IF the world was silenced for a day; no gunfire, sirens, beeping, car horns, screaming, yelling, ALARMS, radio announcers, sound bites, sTatiC, jack hammers, heating systems, dogs barking, steaming mad espresso machines, no sound emitted when we sob, rage or laugh.  What would you feel?--If you could silence all? What would you miss? Would your own voice intensify? Or would it slow down, find it's softness against the new found quiet, and land gently upon a resting place. Like a feather landing. Astonished. Still. Imagine the sheer s-p-a-c-i-o-u-s-n-e-s-s. Can you breathe deeper simply imagining this? The noise ceasing—the energy you would have freed up by not having to digest and discern a thousand bombarding signals of data an hour-- What if we could give ourselves this luxury for mere minutes a day? A soul nap.  A tea break for the psyche. The act of Emptying our crowded selves. Tension simply draining away after the discordant party blaring in our heads, stumbles home like errant rowdy neighbors, finally quiet. But – even though silence can be sublime, I would eventually miss the resonance of a teacup gently clicking it's contact point with the saucer—the reassuring sound of hot tea pouring into the cup. These are comforting sounds. Like your lover saying your name. The sound of anticipation itself. The fullness of this life to your own personal soundtrack. Watching Evelyn Glennie perform on stage, is a humbling marvel. She is a World class solo percussionist—simply astonishing the audience with her virtuosity, in large part 'listening' through her bare feet to vibrations. You see, not only is she a major talent, but she is also deaf. AND, she wins 'the listening as an art form' badge. What an inspiration to behold. Hers is a brilliant lesson in listening. We too can listen if only we can allow ourselves to get out of the way of our inner noise. Past our ego, our latent wounds hiding in ambush. If we can avoid following the shiny magnetic distractions of the noisy world. Listening instead to our hearts. Our longing. Our dreams. Our harebrained creative urgings. Our priorities. Listening to the vibrations of our own being, It then also becomes infinitely easier to listen to our loved ones and to hear their song. Listening heart to heart is the most important thing we will ever do here. Resonance with our truest vibration is a deeply beautiful thing.  [NOTE TO THE READER: I want to personally thank any and all for ''listening'' to this blog and other posts. I appreciate the offering of your time and attention in this noisy world. I am genuinely grateful for your participation and encouragement, and welcome any vibrations you have to share on your favourite sounds...!!!]  |
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